Know Your Joe Pets!
by ShivaVixen
Summary: Some people haven't learned their lesson . . .


Red Witch gave me permission to do this . . . hehehe.

"Damn it, why the hell is there still nothing on?" Low Light growled. Some where, he was sure, someone was messing with him.

"Well, it's going to take time for all the red tape to clear in order to get a satelite dish, and hook it up." Shipwreck lay on the couch. "There's gotta be something on."

"Infomercial, commercial, weather, G.I. Joe olympic reruns . . ." Airbourne wasn't even looking at the T.V. "Why is there nothing good on when you have nothing else to do?"

"Hey has anyone seen Order?" Law walked in.

Suddenly the T.V. channel changed.

"Hey! We're back!" Quick Kick waved at the camera.

"Don't they ever quit?" "How'd they get out of the hospital so fast?" "I wonder who'll beat them up this time?" Everyone turned to Shipwreck who had actually sat up and grabbed a beer.

"Good point." Lady Jaye was playing with a Javelin.

"Yeah, it's worth it just to see who beats them up." Flint nodded.

"Well, do to lack of interest of interviewee's . . . is that even a word?"

"Shut up, We decided to interview several joes about there involvement on the force. Joes that generally are overlooked by the media." Short Fuse grinned at the camera.

"I suddenly have a bad feeling about this." Airbourne turned to look at the T.V.

"Say hello to the pets of G.I. Joe! Today we have Timber, Order, Junkyard, Freedom the eagle, Polly, and we tried to get Pinchy, but that didn't work to well." The animals in question were all clustered around the desk, Timber was chewing on a ham bone. Polly was sharing a perch with Freedom, who was tehterd to said perch.

"What!" Shipwreck choked. Lifeline thumped him on the back. "That bird's Sharkbait if he tries to talk!"

"Bad feeling justified."

"We'll start by reading the qualifications list for each, as well as who their masters are. Then we have an exclusive interview with Polly the parrot!" Short Fuse pointed to said Parrot, who was hamming it up.

"Timber is the wolf, and he's Snake Eyes loyal companion. He's been on several missions, and has taken out several vipers. He's very smart, and often stays with Scarlett when Snake Eyes is out on missions that he can't go on."

"Order here is the companion of Law, and is a very good companion, he has a keen sense of smell, and it's very rare to see them apart. He's gone on several missions, aand always's manages to save Law's neck."

"Freedom is Spirit's eagle, and the two go way back. He flies surveilance, and keeps an eye on Spirit and the rest of the Joe team."

"Junkyard is Mutt's dog, and the two are constantly at each other's side. Most notably on Junkyard's file, he and Mutt were captured by cobra to test the Hi frenquency device. And it was almost curtains for Mutt!"

"But they survived and are still inseperable. Hence why we had to lock Mutt in a closet."

Lifeline and Airbourne shot out of the room to rescue Mutt. Law was staring at the T.V.

"And now, Polly, Shipwreck's Parrot." Quick Kick grinned. "Welcome, Polly."

"Hiya Swabbies!" polly squaked. He flew from the perch and landed on the desk.

"Polly, how long have you and Shipwreck been together?"

"Long time! He raised me."

"Yeah, we can tell." Short Fuse quipped. "So Polly, was there an ulterior motive for Shipwreck buying you?"

"He was lonely." Polly was keeping an eye on the dogs. "And he wanted to attract girls."

"Don't think about it Bird brain! Where are they broadfcasting from?" Shipwreck didn't wait for an answer. He left, and Airbourne and Lifeline returned with Mutt. Who wasn't happy.

"I see. So how many missions have you been on with Shipwreck?"

"Plenty! He always gets in trouble, and I have to bail him out!" Polly preened. Meanwhile, Timber had finished the ham bone and tried to walk away. He was tehterd to the desk.

"They aren't in the Broadcast room!" Shipwreck came in, out of breath.

"Snake Eyes is already working on finding them." Scarlett entered. "But they've hidden themselves good this time."

"Hey, watch Junkyard!" Mutt pointed to the screen. Junkyard was chewing through the tether on Timber. Order had already chewed the leash holding him, and was chewing the tether holding Freedom.

"I don't think this will be ending well." Spirit and Snake Eyes entered the room, Snake Eyes shaking his head to Mutt and Law. Then he started playing with the throwing stars.

"So, what else can you tell us about Shipwrec's relationships?"

"He doesn't need them, he has me!" Polly squawked sadly. "I'm a good companion, honest!"

"Aww, poor Polly." Low Light snickered. Shipwreck glared at him. Mainframe had been grabbed by Junkyard to find where they were broadcasting from.

"Alright, let's move on to-" Quick Kick was dive bombed by an irate eagle. "Oh no!"

"Freedom doesn't like being tethered." Spirit crossed his arms, he was trying to figure out where the broadcast was from. "Neither do the dogs or Timber."

"Now you're gonna get it!" Polly attacked Quick Kick as well, while the dogs and timber snapped at Short Fuse, who'd gotten on the desk.

"Nice Doggies . . ." Timber lunged, snapping at Short Fuse's legs. "Help!!"

"Polly, You traitor!" Quick kick was running around, trying to dodge the birds. The Joes watching cheered on the pets.

"Never said anything about not helping them!" Polly squawked in glee. "I just said I wouldn't tell Shipwreck!"

"Some one help!!" The camera was knocked over, offically ending the broadcast.

"I'll get the medbay ready." Lifeline sighed. As he was exiting, he was almost run over by Quick Kick, Short Fuse, and the angry animals, who were joined by their angry owners.

"We didn't say anything about you! No! Put the throwing stars away! Aaaahhh!"

"Lock me in a closest- Junkyard, sic em!"

"Agh!" Everyone went to the windows to watch.

"Maybe they should name that segment, 'When Joe animals attack'?" Airbourne suggested.

"Heh, nothing beats live entertainment." Low Light laughed as Order got a good bite to Short Fuse's bottom.

"Good thing security camera's are on record, too." Mainframe agreed. Polly landed on Shipwreck's shoulder.

"All's well that ends with Quick Kick and Short Fuse in pain!" Polly squawked.


End file.
